because
once you show signs of integrating into
them, you are automatically expected
to do some of those unhealthy
happy-people-cluster-tog-24/7
kinda things.
people ditch formalities,
they demolish boundaries,
intrude on the basis of goodwill,
believe that whatever they
know of you is all you are about,
start those
sticky attachment messes,
and then allow it all to snowball
into some real, longterm
person-to-person obligatory relationship.
guess at some point i will
need to succumb to some of these.
could be my pretty darn
functional antiawkwardness mechanism
propogating this misunderstanding,
whatever it is,
i just hope i am half as good
at this as what i
come across to people.
10:49 PM